Hypothetical Chinese

IF ONLY IT COULD WORK THIS WAY, WE COULD SPEAK ALL THE LANGUAGES 😀

Are you harboring a fugitive? = Hu Yu Hai Ding?

See me A.S.A.P. = Kum Hia Nao

Stupid Man = Dum Gai

Small Horse = Tai Ni Po Ni

Your price is too high = No Bai Dam Thing

Did you go to the beach? = Wai Yu So Tan

I bumped into a coffee table = Ai Bang Mai Ni

I think you need a facelift = Chin Tu Fat

It's very dark in here = Wai So Dim?

Has your flight been delayed? = Hao Long Wei Ting?

That was an unauthorized execution = Lin Ching

I thought you were on a diet = Wai Yu Mun Ching?

This is a tow away zone = No Pah King

Do you know lyrics to the Macarena? = Wai Yu Sing Dum Song?

You are not very bright = Yu So Dum

I got this for free = Ai No Pei

I am not guilty = Wai Hang Mi?

Please, stay a while longer = Wai Go Nao?

Meeting was scheduled for next week = Wai You Kum Nao

They have arrived = Hia Dei Kum

Stay out of sight = Lei Lo

He's cleaning his automobile = Wa Shing Ka

He is a fat man = Wun Fat Gai

How is your translation going?

When you realize you have a big big problem:

A: So, how is your translation going?

Me: 😂

Computer problem report form

1. Describe your problem:
__________________________________________

2. Now, describe the problem accurately:
__________________________________________

3. Speculate wildly about the cause of the problem:
__________________________________________

4. Problem Severity:
a. Minor
b. Minor
c. Minor
d. Trivial

5. Nature of the problem:
a. Locked up
b. Frozen
c. Hung
d. Shot

6. Is your computer plugged in? Yes__ No__

7. Is it turned on? Yes__ No__

8. Have you tried to fix it yourself? Yes__ No__

9. Have you made it worse? Yes__

10. Have you read the manual? Yes__ No__

11. Are you sure you've read the manual? Yes__ No__

12. Are you absolutely certain you've read the manual? No__

13. Do you think you understood it? Yes__ No__

14. If "Yes" then why can't you fix the problem yourself?

15. What were you doing with your computer at the time the problem occurred?

16. If "nothing" explain why you were logged in.

17. Are you sure you aren't imagining the problem? Yes__ No__

18. How does this problem make you feel?
__________________________________________

19. Write something about your childhood.
__________________________________________

20. Do you have any independent witnesses of the problem? Yes__ No__

21. Can't you do something else, instead of bothering me? Yes__

Thank you for taking the time to fill out our Computer Problems Form. Please allow 1 week response time so that the problem will resolve itself or you will reboot your computer, most likely resolving the issue. 😀